Koi No Yokan
by charlibubble
Summary: Koi No Yokan (Japanese): The sense upon first meeting a person that the two of you are going to fall into love SPOILERS for the season 14 Premiere! and Modges :)


_A/N: Ooooo Modges-ness makes me so happy. There wasn't much but I have been able to read into it as much as humanly possible and create this little one-shot to share with you... expect many more where this came from now that the new season has started and I have inspiration for my Modges Muse :)_  
_Let me know what you think x_

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The sound of his footsteps echoing off the long sterile corridor made him feel uncomfortable. It had only been a year since the last time he had been here, outside the same ward, with the same nurses and doctors milling around. The same sympathetic smiles were painted on their faces although he was sure they didn't know who he was here for.

The past few days had been somewhat of a revelation for him. While he had externally been the embodiment of calm professionalism internally he was gradually being torn apart. He couldn't stop his mind from wandering, and in situations like this, knowing the things he knew, it was inevitable it would wander to dark places he didn't wish to acknowledge.

Morgan was his friend, his confidante, his sidekick, but the days that passed told him she was something else to him too, something entirely different.

It had snuck up on him too. He had been running analysis on the coded rods when he began to run through his catalogue of memories involving Morgan. He envisioned her smile, the way she would try not to laugh at his jokes but the corners of her mouth would still twitch. He envisioned the way she always held a pillow to her face at the scary parts of movies but never took her eyes off the screen. He remembered settling down beside her munching through a huge bowl of popcorn every Thursday night and the arguments they always had over which movie to watch.

But his mind began to wander further. He began to think about how her hand felt in his and how her eyes sparkled with the most enchanting blue he had ever seen. He could almost hear the sound of her laugh and smell the gentle scent of her hair. He thought about the times when she had protected him, sometimes at her own risk and the times she had been honest with him even when it made him mad.

Most of all his mind fixated on that moment, one year ago, when he had sat here on this very ward and felt her lips, so soft and smooth, against his own. He hadn't dealt with it well back then, he didn't know how to. Beautiful women did not simply throw themselves at David Hodges, as much as he wished they would. Aside from that there was the small matter of Elisabetta and what she had meant to him. Back then she had been someone he trusted impeccably, someone he envisioned a life with full of vineyards and sunshine and sunset picnics. Now though, now he wasn't so sure his vision was correct. Now she was here and he was beginning to see through the fantasy and find out who Elisabetta really was.

He'd never had a best friend before; it was hard to decide whether this was what one would consider a normal relationship. Elisabetta would declare that it was not but then what did she know?

Not that any of this mattered, he reminded himself sternly. Morgan's well-being was his prime concern, she meant more to him than anyone in the world and he knew better than to push the boundaries of their relationship just because of some clouded thinking after a traumatic experience. It was what had happened last time after all, they couldn't repeat that.

Once is a mistake, a temporary lapse of judgement. Twice is a choice. A choice he wasn't entirely sure either of them was ready to make.

It was certainly not something he could place in Morgan's hands at this time anyway. She had been seriously injured; by all accounts she had almost died. She wouldn't be thinking straight about anything. Not life, not love and not friendship. She needed him to be an unwavering symbol of support and friendship not a potential love interest. She needed him to be exactly who he was and how he was, now more than ever.

He could hear voices as he approached her room, Morgan's and another male voice he didn't recognise at first. He switched into ninja mode, hugging the wall for cover as he inched towards the glass panel in the door. The paper bag in his hand crunched loudly with the door frame as he approached and all the nurses gathered around the station shot disapproving glances in his direction.

On closer scrutiny he realised that he did recognise the voice. It was someone he knew well, someone he had an age old rivalry with.

Henry Andrews.

Henry had tried to steal his love from him before. He swooped in right under Hodges nose and got his claws into Wendy when he had least expected it. All under the clever guise of a friend, he knew that disguise well and he wouldn't let it happen again.

He pressed his ear close to the door, attempting to catch the conversation they were having. It was muffled by the door and interrupted by the chatter of the nurses nearby. He was almost tempted to shush them given his usual control over his environment but a swift glance at the expressions on the ladies told him that would not be an effective way to manipulate this situation. Instead he hoped and prayed for some kind of medical emergency at the other end of the ward and by  
some miracle the alarm sounded only moments later.

With a self-satisfied grin he turned himself back to the door, peering carefully into the room while keeping all his concentration on hearing the discussion.

"So they KIDNAP me!" Henry laughed. "Threw this sack over my head and drove me out into the desert"

Hodges was suddenly very aware of what they were discussing. An ill-fated birthday trip for Henry's benefit that had resulted in a car accident, a crime scene and although Henry never confirmed it, the rest of them were fairly sure he had been sexually assaulted. Henry had spent the entire time whining and throwing sarcastic comments around while everyone else had done actual work.

"So we end up out in this dive of an ex-restaurant with a rotting corpse who has a raccoon stuck to his face" Henry continued "It was the best and the worst birthday ever"

"And all I got was dinner" Morgan muttered. She sounded exhausted, which he figured she probably was. Being shot tended to take it out of a person. "I…. had kinda hoped he would be here too"

Hodges heart skipped a beat, she wanted him there. He couldn't say he was surprised but he was touched that when she was at her lowest ebb he was the one she wanted around.

He must have been leaning on the door a little too much. One minute he was listening intently to their chatter and the next he fell in a heap onto the floor of her tiny room. Attempting to look casual, he stumbled to his feet. Four judgemental eyes stared back at him, wondering how long he had been listening at the door. Hodges swept the imaginary dust from his clothing, held up the brown paper bag and sauntered further into the room.

"I think you'll find it was dinner AND a movie" He corrected, Morgan's face lighting up with a smile "and I brought you food so don't say I am not good to you Ms Brody"

Shoving Henry out of the way, he wheeled the bedside table across to her bed and carefully arranged the feast of Chinese food he had brought with him. He had remembered all her favourites, even the weird ones he didn't approve of. He had wondered if it came across as too keen while he was in the restaurant but the woman behind the desk had looked so stern and impatient that he felt compelled to order quickly and without too much hesitation.

"I…I'm gonna go" Henry stuttered nervously. Hodges smiled internally, he had a rivalry with Henry spanning years but they were friends and even Henry knew how much Morgan actually meant to him. Either that or he had suddenly decided that being the spare wheel was not for him. It was probably about time he got that particular message.

They bid their goodbyes, Henry throwing him an unreadable look as he shuffled out of the door. Hodges chose to ignore it, Henry did not need to offer him advice, he already knew everything anyway, even if he did stand at the tiny window gesturing to his ring finger.

"I didn't think you were going to come" Morgan said through a mouthful of noodles.

He knew she would appreciate t gesture. Hospital food was nobodies favourite and she would be in here for a while he imagined.

"I thought maybe Elisabetta would have stopped you…"

This statement halted his chewing and pondering simultaneously. He had no idea his relationship with Elisabetta was having such an impact on his relationship with Morgan but he guessed it had. They couldn't very well stay up all night cozied up on the couch with a bottle of wine anymore, their weekly movie nights had changed from 3 movie marathons to single movies where they barely finished their popcorn, lunch and dinner dates had all but disappeared from their schedules. It was sad actually, when he thought about everything he had lost since Elisabetta joined him stateside.

"I'm sorry, if I have been neglecting you a little" He muttered, the sorrow in his voice completely genuine.

"It's ok, I understand" She insisted and he believed her. One of Morgan's best qualities was her empathy and understanding but this was something she shouldn't have to understand.

"I promise, it won't happen again…Elisabetta… well she'll just have to get used to it"

Apart of him wanted to wrap her in his arms and promise he would fix everything for good. He felt an overwhelming urge to protect her from anything that could possibly upset her, including Elisabetta. The thing he wanted most in the world was not his own happiness he realised, but hers.

He didn't want to express this out loud. He couldn't; confessions of love were not his fortay but if Wendy had taught him anything it was that love and life are temporary and if you want to make the most of them you need to seize them with both hands.

"I…." He stopped mid-sentence, not sure if he should proceed or not. The fear welling up inside his soul was drowning him but he swallowed it and tried again, meeting her clear blue eyes as she stared at him intently "I... think I…"

Morgan stopped him by placing her hand on top of his and slowly lacing her fingers through his own. She smiled a soft smile, it was a smile that told him she understood what he was trying to say and that she understood why he couldn't. It was a smile that told him it was okay that they had to wait but most of all it was a smile that told him she felt the same way.

They returned to their food, the atmosphere in the room markedly thicker with tension and their hands clasped around each other as dusk fell over the city of light.


End file.
